Check Yourself Before You Wreck Yourself

“Quietly defiant” was the wording a teacher used on my friend’s report card. I had to laugh because she’s the sweetest thing, but beware the quiet girls. She jokes about it now and says she didn’t think she was being so quiet about it at the time.

I can relate. My introverted side can be sneaky when it comes to getting what I want. My peacekeeper side will agree and pretend like I’m on board as I “yes” people, but then as soon as the person trying to sway me leaves, my defiant side will do what I wanted to do all along. I usually appreciate advice, solicited or otherwise, but this rebellious side rears its ugly head the most during momentous life occasions when everyone wants to voice their opinions, like wedding planning, childbirth, and raising children.

Reading through the Old Testament is an excellent reminder of God’s patience and forewarnings about our quiet rebelliousness. Ahab, King of Judea, is remembered for his weakness of character and his wicked, false-god-worshiping queen, Jezebel. When Ben-Hadad, King of Aram, attacked Judea, God was merciful to Ahab and gave him a chance to learn his lesson that God is the one true God.

God tells Ahab through a prophet in 1 Kings 20:28, “The Arameans have said, ‘The Lord is a god of the hills and not of the plains.’ So I will defeat this vast army for you. Then you will know that I am the Lord.” God fought for Ahab and won two victories, but Ahad unfortunately didn’t learn his lesson. He died fighting the Ramoth army after refusing to listen to Micaiah, God’s prophet, warning that he would die. King Ahab thought his plan was more brilliant, so he did what he wanted to do all along and went out to fight. He had doubts, so he changed his appearance and dressed another soldier in royal robes. A stray arrow struck Ahab, and he died just as Micaiah warned.

I don’t want to be defiant like Ahab. Thankfully, God is merciful and patient, even in my ugly moments. He goes out of His way to forewarn about consequences, but my rebellious side has a way of hardening my heart, which often leads to me learning the hard way. God wants humble servants, so I must constantly check myself and pray for conviction, a softer heart, and the strength to leave my prideful rebellion in the dust.

We can be quick to blame God when something bad happens. But if we take a second and look back, usually, we’ll find warnings or indicators that God tried to turn us around. He urged us to get back on the right path, but we willfully disobeyed, usually for some short-term pleasure.

Praise the Lord, that God is a God of second chances. He is loving and merciful, but He’s also just. It’s up to us to learn the lesson.