Baby feet

My book baby is out in the world.

Let the heart palpations begin. We’ve all been there: leaving an interview, finishing a tryout, turning in an exam, hitting send on a proposal. Our nerves tingle and our stomachs flip over in hopeful trepidation.

But then the doubts creep in.

I’ve woken up at 4 am for the past four nights. I can’t say what woke me up, but as soon as I did, my brain started working overtime listing out all the things I need to do, reviewing all I’d forgotten, and berating myself for the mistakes I couldn’t reverse.

I was under attack.

Maybe it was because of the early hour, but it took me a bit to realize I didn’t need to lie there and listen to my thoughts. So, I fluffed my pillow, prayed, and left things in God’s hands.

There will be resistance to seeing your dreams fulfilled, but a bump in the road isn’t anything to a God who can move mountains. Seeing my dream in print was a long time in coming, but it was the process that challenged me to grow. I am a firm believer in learning vicariously, so here are three key things I’ve realized:

  1. It’s more effective to be the vision than just to cast the vision: It’s easy to tell others, “Don’t give up,” but the most significant impact was for my children to watch mom face adversity and to see me keep trying. They saw the tears, the stress, and the doubts but witnessed me over and over sit back down at my computer and keep typing. “For though the righteous fall seven times, they rise again.” – Proverbs 24:16
  2. Trust God despite the outcome: Whether my book flies off the shelves or sits there gathering dust, I’m going to remember what Shadrach, Meshach, and Abednego said to King Nebuchadnezzar as they were about to be thrown into the furnace.  “If we are thrown into the blazing furnace, the God we serve is able to deliver us from it, and he will deliver us from Your Majesty’s hand. But even if he does not, we want you to know, Your Majesty, that we will not serve your gods or worship the image of gold you have set up” (Daniel 3:17-18).  No matter what, I know God will work all things according to His purpose, and that’s what allows me to sleep at night.
  3. It’s the strength of others lifting you up that gives you a grand perspective: I can’t tell you how many times an encouraging email kept me writing, or my kids praying for me, or other people’s excitement that boosted my own. I will be forever grateful to all the friends, family, church members, and wonderful souls (some of who I haven’t even met face-to-face who’ve carried me on their shoulders). Hebrews 12:1 says, “Therefore, since we are surrounded by such a great cloud of witnesses, let us throw off everything that hinders and the sin that so easily entangles. And let us run with perseverance the race marked out for us.” Thank you for cheering me for during those times when my legs ached, I grew winded, and the finish line seemed impossible to reach.

My race isn’t over. I may have only gone a few laps, but it’s because of you that one foot continues to move in front of the other.

Thank you from the bottom of my heart, and may God bless you! 

Football or American Soccer celebration

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