We might relish the thrill of the hero and heroine’s gazes holding a tad longer than appropriate, the quickening of pulse as their fingers brush, or the intimacy of their mingling breath as a loose strand of hair is tucked behind an ear. We might sigh with longing at those romantic moments, but my answer is a firm, "no, thank you."

You know you're under a book deadline when... Your husband's putting spray-can whipped cream in his coffee because we ran out of creamer four days ago.